Monday, June 13, 2005

:: pet peeve 382 : fashion faux pas::

it was a good working monday today.

good mood, good energy and good appetite.

so for lunch, yours truly indulged in a little serving of 'lor mee' was thick, unfashionable black and rather disgusting-looking gravy, but it was deliciously enough for me.

however, my lunch was ruined by rather an unsightly view right across where i was sitting. it was not because that there were three plus-sized women, but rather, one of the woman was wearing a rather obscenely low-waisted, tight pair of jeans which has shown her cellulites on her butt cheecks....

and the cellulites on her ass reminded me of my retina . you know the sort that looks like some geographical map of some streams, rivers and other water sources. there were like hundreds of lines...err...gross!

i am ok with cellulites actually, i really don't mind if you have them...really!

but if you ever have them, please hide it away from the public eyes. it is not meant for public display. period.

this leads me to another thing about bad fashion sense. before i started to sound judgemental, please believe me when i say that everyone has the right to be proud of your body - and you should! nobody is perfect, even j-lo's farts are as smelly as the rest of us, or maybe even more stinky if she has lots of beans. but please do yourself a favour of looking good, you owe it to yourself, and no one else.

the case in point here, please refer to the picture below:

the lady with the white blouse is older and has the similar (or perhaps even larger) body than the cellulite-thru-the-ass-cheek girl in the green outfit. but in this simple example, her dressing sense makes her body look more proportion than the younger and supposedly-more trendy girl. she also looks slimmer as compared to the outrageously tight top which makes her looked like an overgrown baby. thank god that this picture was not clear enough for you to see the cellulites that were prominent on her ass-cheeks which will give you an idea on how the yellow river will look like on a map.

i am not a fashion expert, but i do enjoy a great deal of beautiful things, who doesn't right? so, what went wrong? for starters, i will suggest that you refer to style guide, which will help you a great deal in what NOT to wear!.

among the style basics that everyone should know are:

* Recognise your assets and choose clothes which flatter this part of your body.
* Show off your breasts OR your bum, never both in one outfit.
* If you have love handles or a round tummy, wear textured fabrics and wrap-around tops.
* If you have a short or wide neck, wear tops that are open at the neck, rather than high or round ones, to lengthen and slim your neck.
* If your clothes are too tight, you'll look fatter not thinner; straining fabric is a style no-no.
if you still need help to determine what works best for your body type, you can try out the personalised style rule generator.

i have seen too many women wearing low-waist jeans with 'overflow tummy' and 'exposed butt-cracks' when they are sitting. and it doesn't help if the panties that they wear are the grandma-knickers sort. it's definitely not sexy at all, but looks excruciatingly painful.

anyhow, what do i know? but ladies, you cannot imagine the kind of words that guys used to describe these fashion faux...they are sharp and venomous.

and yes, have i ever tell you that i was voted the best personal style (male) when i was in uni...many years ago, once upon a time :)

so, believe me. please.


Miss Mumble said...

haha..i've come across my fair share of such obscene...scenes...

there was once, in the LIBRARY, with my kids, I saw a girl sitting down with a long cut waist clinging kinda jeans (amende tu namer...cik dah tua, tak tau benda ni sumer..) and migod..mahap kata, her crack was there for all the world to see and god..kalau bontot putih melepak takper.....:D
and she thinks she looks cool lidat...
eeww, eeww, eewww...

sorry for the long rant..

Jaywalk said...

Ok, somebody please translate the above to English, please.

Sounds too interesting to ignore!

SooHK said...

At least its a woman crack... I have seen man crack that almost reach until the end...

aGent X said...

miss mumble : i know what you mean..meluat i :D

jaywalk - especially for you, i am trying to translate what miss mumbles wrote in english :)

"there was once, in the LIBRARY, with my kids, I saw a girl sitting down with a long cut waist clinging kinda jeans (what do you call those? aunty here is old, so i wouldn't know about all those trendy stuff) and my god! (pardon my crudeness, her (ass)crack was there for the whole world to see, and god, it would be ok if she has a fair and supple ass (but otherwise) :D
and she thinks she looks cool like that...
eeww, eeww, eewww..."

hope you got it!

soohk - we men dont' need low waist jeans to achieve that...even normal shorts also can, i've seen those too :)

jettykey said...

I do agree that men or women should dress according to their body types, and not follow fashion blindly.

Unfortunately, it's usually the overweight fellas who are at an disavantage. The thin ones seemed to look okay in almost anything or nothing at all.

Miss Mumble said...

agentX, syabas!! (congrats...)
u make one hella fine intepreter...!!:D

Cowboy Caleb said...

anda telah di tomorrowkan.

Engkay seharusnya bersedia untuk dimarah oleh wanita yang gemuk-gedempul

aGent X said...

alamak cowboy - awak telah 'menyabo' saya...(ie: you have 'sabo-ed' me)..and gemuk-gedempul...oh my god, it has been ages since i last heard or use that word..

ps : gemuk-gedempul = collective adjective to describe fatties in malay.

Barffie said...

I am guilty of that sometimes, but I am very careful about it in public, so only my FH get to see my ass crack being exposed :P
I have an overflow tummy also, but I keep it hidden under my top :P

But I have seen too many ass cracks until I have grown numb to it :P

faith-t said...

you cannot imagine the kind of words that guys used to describe these fashion faux...they are sharp and venomous.

Oh, I can imagine. I can imagine only too well. I hang out with 5 guys and they can be VERY NASTY!

and the irony is, they're not like hunks themselves. HAHAH! But they do take pains in their appearance lah.

sigh, now i'm even more paranoid. i think i'll wrap myself in a tent and never leave the house.