:: a wake up call ::

ever since my return from the rome holidays, i have to say that i have been very busy meeting new social acquaintances from all over holland (and more). i have been attending dinner parties, drink parties, clubbing, playing chess, watching football, getting high and stoned, etc etc...

i don't know what has got over me - perhaps it comes at the time that i am feeling all FABULOUS with myself, that the realisation that there is nothing to be insecure about and that my self-confidence is finally there.

last weekend, SJ has gracefully invited me to a grand birthday party in amsterdam. the party itself was wonderful and well-organised, despite i know only very few guests there. but as the night progresses, conversations become easier with strangers-turned-acquaintances/friends and perhaps i became too reckless after that as a result - to cut the story short, i became less alert and awake.....and i lost my bag containing my iPod, Prada shades, sweater, house keys, bicycle keys and most importantly, the bag itself! it was a gift from a close friend from japan, about 7 years ago. i know that porsche design does not make that bag anymore, but it was special to me because it was a bag that had seen the world with me and a dependable bag too. it was my recklessness to get a mint from the bag (because i wanted to kiss everyone goodbye) that i just casually put it on a chair and went to say goodbye at the bar and, only to be distracted (or perhaps seduced) to a lounge upstairs for a special 'goodnight'. with my keys gone and sweater-less, i had to stay in amsterdam and wait until the next morning before i could get the spare key from my friend in the hague.

i believe that this little incident is a reminder for me. it's life way of telling me to perhaps slow down, and look around. i admit that i have been reckless with new acquaintances and didn't devote much time for myself. i am not as fit as before, since i have stopped going to the gym regularly, always not at home on weekends and didn't stop and smell the roses! it's time to stop, listen to my breathing, relax and pamper myself silly, just for me and by me!

i'm going to do that this weekend as i will be off to london. instead of the usual london shopping and sights, i guess i will spend quality time for some 'old friends' who are living there now as i have always been avoiding that and instead rather spending time by myself at bars and clubs.

it's time to wake up, or i'll be dead...x