:: pet peeve 382 : fashion faux pas::

it was a good working monday today.

good mood, good energy and good appetite.

so for lunch, yours truly indulged in a little serving of 'lor mee'...it was thick, unfashionable black and rather disgusting-looking gravy, but it was deliciously enough for me.



however, my lunch was ruined by rather an unsightly view right across where i was sitting. it was not because that there were three plus-sized women, but rather, one of the woman was wearing a rather obscenely low-waisted, tight pair of jeans which has shown her cellulites on her butt cheecks....

and the cellulites on her ass reminded me of my retina . you know the sort that looks like some geographical map of some streams, rivers and other water sources. there were like hundreds of lines...err...gross!

i am ok with cellulites actually, i really don't mind if you have them...really!

but if you ever have them, please hide it away from the public eyes. it is not meant for public display. period.

this leads me to another thing about bad fashion sense. before i started to sound judgemental, please believe me when i say that everyone has the right to be proud of your body - and you should! nobody is perfect, even j-lo's farts are as smelly as the rest of us, or maybe even more stinky if she has lots of beans. but please do yourself a favour of looking good, you owe it to yourself, and no one else.

the case in point here, please refer to the picture below:



the lady with the white blouse is older and has the similar (or perhaps even larger) body than the cellulite-thru-the-ass-cheek girl in the green outfit. but in this simple example, her dressing sense makes her body look more proportion than the younger and supposedly-more trendy girl. she also looks slimmer as compared to the outrageously tight top which makes her looked like an overgrown baby. thank god that this picture was not clear enough for you to see the cellulites that were prominent on her ass-cheeks which will give you an idea on how the yellow river will look like on a map.

i am not a fashion expert, but i do enjoy a great deal of beautiful things, who doesn't right? so, what went wrong? for starters, i will suggest that you refer to style guide, which will help you a great deal in what NOT to wear!.

among the style basics that everyone should know are:

* Recognise your assets and choose clothes which flatter this part of your body.
* Show off your breasts OR your bum, never both in one outfit.
* If you have love handles or a round tummy, wear textured fabrics and wrap-around tops.
* If you have a short or wide neck, wear tops that are open at the neck, rather than high or round ones, to lengthen and slim your neck.
* If your clothes are too tight, you'll look fatter not thinner; straining fabric is a style no-no.

if you still need help to determine what works best for your body type, you can try out the personalised style rule generator.

i have seen too many women wearing low-waist jeans with 'overflow tummy' and 'exposed butt-cracks' when they are sitting. and it doesn't help if the panties that they wear are the grandma-knickers sort. it's definitely not sexy at all, but looks excruciatingly painful.

anyhow, what do i know? but ladies, you cannot imagine the kind of words that guys used to describe these fashion faux...they are sharp and venomous.

and yes, have i ever tell you that i was voted the best personal style (male) when i was in uni...many years ago, once upon a time :)

so, believe me. please.

:: kennysia's latest blog trendsetter::

Congratulations aGentX, you are...

mr brown of www.mrbrown.com

Like that ad for Toys 'R Us, you are that kid who doesn't want to grow up. Except you do. And now you're just a big overgrown kid who doesn't want grow up. You have a warped yet addictive sense of humour. It takes skills to poke fun at serious things and you have no problems doing that. Your peers look up to you and yet you're humble about everything. You are an infantile.

Which Singaporean Blogger Are You?

:: geeks galore::

the geek god, aka the richest-man-in-the-world, is coming...and i am lucky to be invited for the seminar.



actually, it was more for the paparazzi factor, rather than the actual geek-kingdom quest for knowledge. see if he is really a geek that what he was made out to be....and i bet there will be many other geeks who will lock-jawed in awe as well...sans yours truly.

but i wish it is paris hilton instead though :)

guess u can't win 'em all...

:: kara-not-ok ::

the last time i ever karaoke'd was with a group of guy buddies, around 7 of us at a bar somewhere near chinatown. the playlist was 98.65% chinese songs. dont' get me wrong, i love all kind of music.

my pals were singing mostly mandarin, hokkien and cantonese songs. i know some of the songs, having the benefit of hearing them before somewhere. and i really liked some of the songs.

that was not my trauma. it was rather the inability to read chinese and the lack of having hanyu-pinyin lyrics to sing along too.

it also did not help that yours truly cannot really sing.

being the entertainer as usual, my choices of the english songs were simply to irritate and make a jackass of myself. i chose beyonce's "crazy in love" and tata young's "sexy, naughty, bitchy" (which i did not realize the the lyrics were so raunchy...ouch!)

needless to say, it turned the house down and it also didn't help that i happened to be ditzy and light-headed when my turn came to sing....and the dance was complimentary.

so now, when the same invitation was thrown again to me, i would be rather prepared and try to sing 'real songs'. so, i have decided to choose this song, Teresa Cheng's "The Moon Represents My Heart", but for now, i got the hanyu pinyin lyrics...and trying to memorize them.

and i am also considering to join yamaha's voice course and some super memory lessons so.

so, here is my task for the next 48 hours, to memorize the lyrics below; wish me luck!

Teresa Teng - Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin.
(The Moon Represents My Heart)

ni wen wo ai ni you duo shen
wo ai ni you ji fen
wo de qing ye zhen
wo de ai ye zhen
yue liang dai biao wo de xin

ni wen wo ai ni you duo shen
wo ai ni you ji fen
wo de qing bu yi
wo de ai bu bian
yue liang dai biao wo de xin

* qing qing de yi ge wen
yi jin da dong wo de xin
shen shen de yi duan qing
jiao wo si nian dao ru jin

* ni wen wo ai ni you duo shen
wo ai ni you ji fen

* ** ni qu xiang yi xiang
ni qu kan yi kan
yue liang dai biao wo de xin

Repeat *
Repeat **

English Translation

You ask me how deep my love for you is,
How much I really love you...
My affection is real.
My love is real.
The moon represents my heart.

You ask me how deep my love for you is,
How much I really love you...
My affection does not waver,
My love will not change.
The moon represents my heart.

* Just one soft kiss
is enough to move my heart.
A period of time when our affection was deep,
Has made me miss you until now.

* You ask me how deep my love for you is,
How much I really love you.

* ** Go think about it.
Go and have a look [at the moon],
The moon represents my heart.

Repeat *
Repeat **

:: current mood::

11838_01_l, originally uploaded by AgentX.

this t-shirt best describes it. anyone wanna buy me a present?

:: interview marathons ::

abercrombie & fitch t-shirt, originally uploaded by AgentX.

throughout my working life, i have the (dis)honour of interviewing so many people that sometimes, when i bumped into familiar faces, they would come up to me and exchange pleasantries and from there, i will remember where we have 'met'.

the transaction will just end there. no more follow ups and 'keeping in touch' and perhaps, we will never meet again - at least in this lifetime.

however, i have often tried my best to update every job applicants with the outcome of their interviews since i would like to have a very clear conscience mind -- should i ever bump into them on the streets in god-knows when.

so far, it has been paying off pretty well.

it since has been few years since i last had to conduct many job interviews. i am playing on the opposite side of the camp right now, with my current job.

other than my initial interviews to be accepted for this job, i have to be 'interviewed' by our clients for every single projects. the purpose was to give them the 'comfort factor' of my worthiness and assessment of my competencies to the tasks at hand. mostly, these 'interviews' are via conference and video calls. my 'interviewers' could be anywhere in paris, london or bangkok so far and the outcome could be decided almost immediately.

sometimes, they liked me while other times, they do not. c'est la vie, i am ok with that.

on my part, sometimes i want to be 'liked' while at other times, i do not want that assignment at all. life is pretty strange as the projects which you hoped of not being selected, but it turned out well and vice versa. there are times when the customers would want to bring me on, only to be 'pushed' by the cost factors and they will get another of my colleagues from the malaysia office.

i am treating all this like a game so far, and i am already a 'seasoned' job applicant. sometimes i wonder if i have lost the 'passion' to be interviewed anymore. i am become no longer 'a fresh meat' in the flash parade (unlike years ago, when i went to a cabin crew interview...all fresh and young, eager and excited..parading our 'flesh' to the panel of interviewers - but that was another story).

right now, it is all an act, really...because the things that are to be said, have been said so many times before. just smile, look fresh and eager...sound positive, that is all part of the interview game. but the only thing different between my interviews and those real-job seekers is that, i already have a job, but i need to give the assurance to my clients that "yes, take me...i am worthy of my rates that you will have to pay...i provide good work, professional, decent and cute...heheh..."

i am feeling like an old whore at times, with all these 'acts'.

no, make it an old mistress.

:: sgblogconspiratorists at work::

this is getting out of hand, the sgblogconspiracy that is.

i should not have blogged about my impending reservist in august and the fact that i will be 'on duty' for the national day because the conspirators have found out and told me boss about it....



i don't know what the conspirators did to influence my boss so that i cannot go for my diligent and 'on-the-ball' reservist (and thus, free show) during the NDP, but i could sense it that it has to do with the bloggers.sg 'convention' coming up soon.

my boss wanted me to do my reservist during that convention week, which means, i cannot attend that event-to-meet-xiaxue-and-sillycelly....marangkusheebye!

i could smell mr miyagi's involvement in this, maybe since he being an ace silencer in the elite military , he cannot stand the sight of a reservist cop like me walking around and looking macho in the tight uniform during NDP while oggling at pretty babes and getting lots of free food and tell people not to cross the road anyhow...., when he has to go to 'real army exercise' at the outbacks without any 'chio-bus' to look at for days... :D

from now on, anything that don't happen as planned, i will blame sgblogconspiracy as they said " all your blog are belonged to gahmen".

Et tu Brutus?

technorati tag : sgblogconspiracy

:: reservist lai liao!::

after futile attempts to 'siam' this reservist order by (1) doing tricks while roller-bladding which resulted in broken wrist and enjoying 3 weeks of hospitalization leave and (2) by resigning from previous company and informed my unit that "times are hard, so give chance until i finish probation, can?", and (3) a serious bout of flu which exempted me from any physical exercise for my IPPT....finally, I 'kena'...again.



2004 was the only year in my whole reservist life (i'm still in the old school lah, not ORD in my dictionary) that i had managed to get away from being recalled for duty. every year, after ROD kena called, except the times when i was away on study...suay, suay, suay. i have friends who since their ROD have not been called at all by their unit. they told me that maybe their records are forgotten for good...me jealous :(

despite that, i managed to ace all my IPPT (never failed a single one, yet) and at least got a silver award some more....got promoted and then, always got weird and exciting operations. like making 7 arrests in 4 days in 2002 and chasing young punks in gang fights...it was really like police and thieves.

and yeah, i'm a cop, unlike mr miyagi who is an ace silencer in the covert military elite and also a poster boy for the NSmen of the army . the tales of army reservist/NSman and police are different. it is easy to identify if the guy is an army reservist, but for me, everytime when i don the police uniform for my reservist order, members of the public will think that i am a full-time cop and demand full-time cop attention. it is not easy because most of the times, you are handling real life situation, which sometimes mean, you cannot really 'play-play'.

perhaps the most stressful and exhilirating experience for me was when we had to investigate a case of domestic violence after receiving complaints from the public. when we arrived at the scene, the husband and wife are still beating each other up - badly! we had to subdue the husband as he did not want to stop and we are lucky to be able to overcome him as we have found a hidden knife at the back of his pants and things could get pretty CSI-like if we were to take it like a 'reservist duty'. the most bizarre case was when a drunk driver caused a motorcyclist and his pillion rider to fall as he was losing control of his car and his excuse was that he really needed to sh*t urgently. and guess what, he actually pee'd and sh*t in his pants, right in front of us. needless to say, the journey to bring him back to the police station, using the police patrol car was not at all pleasant - we had to use the siren to speed all the way back.

there are many other (mis)adventures while performing my reservist duties - some are mundanely routine, others are fun and exciting and the best part is to catch up with the old 'kakis' in my team.

anyhow, back to my reservist order for this year is for National Day parade, which means I do not need to ballot for the tickets to watch it live at padang as i will be there myself -in my smart police uniform, no less ...heheh. BUT, this has actually been like my 8th time on duty for NDP, ever since my full time NS until now.

all i could say is that the food provided during the NDP is always good (with sponsors from MacDonalds, KFC, Nasi Lemak, Nasi Padang, etc etc) and i still got a tinge of goose bumps of pride when i am saluting to the national flag when everybody sings the national anthem, shortly after the arrival of the president.

a little dash of nostalgia too, when this year's police parade is held for the last time at the police academy in thomson road. that spooky place is somewhat comforting for me during my 3 months of BMT, despite sightings of small boys and girls running outside our bunk in the wee hours of the morning, recruits being possessed by some strange forces and the sound of running wild boar in the bunk which has 'frozen' all of us in the bunk. wait...the hairs at the back of my neck are standing now, and it's very very late now, so i better stop before i digress.

happy reservist in august, aGentX!.